The dictionary defines disappointment as "sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations."
The possibility of it actually happening for me was exciting. No, I'm not talking about a romantic relationship, but I am referring to a dream of mine that has been simmering in my heart in recent years. I'm not trying to be mysterious about the subject. I'm just not comfortable speaking about it publicly at this time. Last week, it became clear that it was not meant to be in this season of my life. God seemed to shut the door (at least for now).
"I feel discouraged," I truthfully said to my middle sister over the phone. Steph is wonderful because she tells me how it is and always has my back. "We don't know for sure," she replied.
According to a website called Discover Healing, " Discouragement is defined as, 'a loss of confidence or enthusiasm; dispiritedness.' Many describe it as feeling defeated, or like they can’t do anything right. When you feel this way, it’s almost like your spirit is broken."
Photo by Paola Chaaya - @paolalitta
Sure enough, the next day what felt like bad news was confirmed to me. However, the most amazing thing happened, I could see God's grace. I sensed his grace in how the news was delievered to me and my conversation with God went like this,
"It's okay God. I trust you. You're still good and I know you love me. It's not what I was expecting, but you know the reason and the timing. I'm a little sad, but I know I'm still blessed."
Suddenly, sadness, peace, joy, disappointment, trust, surrender and contentment were all neighbours mingling at an event inside my heart.
I was thankful that God was kind in allowing me to see his goodness in this circumstance. I've walked too many years with Jesus to know that I can't produce this type of perspective on my own. Whenever we see God in anything it's because he has opened our eyes.
Have you experienced disappointment lately? I want to encourage you to ask God for his vision in your situation. Let's look for the good, the beauty and the grace that is sprinkled everywhere around us in order to point us to the most loving God.
Photo by Paul Green - @pgreen1983
Don't let disappointment rob you of seeing God.
Strength & peace,